This dream begins with the awareness that you seem to have killed
someone. Although the memory of exactly how or why it happened is hazy,
the body you must dispose of now is all too real. Often, the body is buried
in the basement or backyard of the home, but there are usually
complications that make discovery a terrifying threat. Despite the horror
of this dream, the main concerns are concealing the evidence of the crime
and avoiding discovery.Although both men and women have this dream, it seems more
prevalent among men, who report that their earliest memory of it dates
back to teen years. People who experience this dream have it frequently
until the age of twenty-five or so, then less frequently into their thirties.
By the late thirties, its recurrence is usually rare.This dream is connected with the need for acceptance and the decisionto do away with things in ourselves that we believe (or have been
taught) are undesirable. The murder victim represents the part of the self that has been
deemed a liability to the plan we have mapped out. That is why there is
typically no remorse about the killing at all, only a concern that these
actions will be brought to light and cause trouble. The panicky fear of
discovery is due to the desire to conceal (or preferably erase) the existence
of the qualities in ourselves that are being set aside. Although this may
sound like an irrational or unhealthy process, this is very much the type of
sorting and defining that occupies teenagers. They are in the process of
deciding what is okay, desirable, or possible, and what would hold them
back, reflect badly on them, or make them appear less grown up.
When you have developed the body of a man or a woman over the
course of a summer, the things that recently marked childhood would
indeed become hot evidence that you could not ditch fast enough.
However, the urge to be a cool, desirable adult is not the only force
catalyzing this dream. Many of us at that age were hit hard by parental
expectations about appearance, conduct, attractiveness, and the future.
One boy who longed to be an artist was prodded toward a career in law
school. He learned repeatedly that his artistic urges marked him as
somehow weak or impractical. Dutifully, he developed a kind of scorn for
his early hunger. As he lived more in his mind and less in his aesthetic sense,
he dreamed about where to bury the body of the person he had killed.
While this dream marks the ending of one era and the expedient
dismissal of certain parts of the self, the story does not end there. The
bargains we make with our potential and our energies are never final or
absolute. This dream begins when we make a shift in identity. It marks our
decision. But it stays with us through the years as a reminder that what we
left behind still exists and can be redeemed when the time is right.
Although it is popular to advise people that change can happen any
time we want, I have seen from the rhythm of our dreams that certain
points in our lives are more ripe than others for reclaiming our energies
and old loves. In early adulthood, this dream seems to haunt us as a
reminder of the choices we have made and the potentials we have left
behind. By the late thirties, most of us have recovered from the illusion
that we must sacrifice our authentic awareness in order to become
successful or admired. We may have climbed partway up our chosen hill
and been struck by the knowledge that something essential was left
behind. This dream recurs at important junctures in our lives, times when
we have the chance to retrieve old friends from exile without disrupting
our lives or creating imbalance.Many people who share these dreams with me feel strongly that thisinterpretation fits their experience. But some cannot immediately identify
what specifically they cut off in that time. I believe the willingness to reclaim
these aspects of the self is enough to create movement in the psyche and in
your life. The dreaming portion of the mind has evidently kept meticulous
records about the “self” that was put aside. All that is needed is the official
decision that you are ready to reinstate and utilize lost energy. If you make
this decision, be prepared to feel your way through a series of marvelous
coincidences and tugs at your heart. Books will leap out at you, friends will
introduce you to contacts or courses of study, or you’ll sign up for a class.
Many different things will seem to conspire to bring you back in touch with
the parts of life you are now ready to enjoy